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Thursday 22 May 2014

With PD there comes paranoia
Just something else to really annoy yuh

It is paranoia you see
That is starting to infiltrate me
Something ain't right
I'm getting uptight
Abandoning logic and reason

Is that guy with a bat after me
That's a cat not a bat you dummy
That feline's quite gaunt
Why would somebody want
A cat-like a bat; that's just teasin'

Logic has fled my thought lesion
And reason is no longer pleasin'
Apart they're not great
But it's never too late
Together behold! logical reason
Or maybe its reasonable logic.

On my walk this morning, I encountered two bouts of paranoia. The first occurred when a car pulled up quickly beside me and a man got out holding something."What the heck is he doing?" I wondered in fleeting fear for my safety. He rushed by me with a "good morning" as he strode up a path with a handful of books to deposit in the library's overnight bin.

The second occurred when a "weaselly" man crossed the street from the kitty corner, carrying a cup of something and running right at me. Again my fight or flight response was activated. He totally ignored me as he passed in a vain attempt to catch a bus.

Am I entering a stage of paranoia, which would not be good, or am I just an idiot? I think the latter, for I certainly felt like a fool.

Or maybe, paranoia is a strategy of mine? You never know.

I also got a glimpse of real paranoia in action. Health problems always create paranoia. A good friend of mine is unable to lift his arm above his head.

"Stiffness," I joked, "Maybe you have parkinson's."

"I know," he replied. "I have thought of that and I going to bring it up with my doctor."

If you are reading this, me fine son, your chances of getting PD are very low (around 1%). It is probably a muscle thing that will eventually resolve itself.

In other words, when you hear the sound of hoof beats, think horses, not zebras.

Sunday 18 May 2014

Chicory chick, cha-la, cha-la

Long weekend - tradition says we go to the lake for the weekend. We, along with our daughter and her sweet little girl, step into the cabin and immediately turn on the heat. It is 10C outside, but inside it is cooler. While the rest of Canada basks in above normal temperatures, we are 5 - 10C below normal. (Take a look at the picture below for proof. That is ICE a couple of metres offshore!)

We huddle in the cottage that evening but when I awake the next day, I decide that I should do my beach walk, something I had not done since last fall. I complete the walk and am disturbed to learn I was 10 minutes slower than last year. I am quick to blame it on parkinson's, which might be the correct thing to do; however, maybe I just took my time. In fact, if PD has slowed me down at all, it is because I am more aware of bumps in the sidewalk and other such traps waiting for me. My stride seems normal, arm swing natural; everything is tickety-boo. Copacetic so to speak.

When I get home, I google "slow parkinson's". My search is too broad and I end up with articles about slow progressing PD. I find out that for many, progression is very slow. I conclude I am one of the lucky ones, for now, my PD seems to be progressing at glacial speed (here I knock on wood). I also found this little gem that details the progression of PD in a far better way than does the stage 1 - 5 method of assessing the sufferer.

Mild Parkinson’s

  • Movement symptoms may be inconvenient, but do not affect daily activities
  • Movement symptoms, often tremor, occur on one side of the body
  • Friends may notice changes in a person’s posture, walking ability or facial expression
  • Parkinson's medications suppress movement symptoms effectively
  • Regular exercise improves and maintains mobility, flexibility, range of motion and balance, and also reduces depression and constipation

Moderate Parkinson’s

  • Movement symptoms occur on both sides of the body
  • The body moves more slowly
  • Trouble with balance and coordination may develop
  • “Freezing” episodes — when the feet feel stuck to the ground — may occur
  • Parkinson's medications may “wear off” between doses
  • Parkinson's medications may cause side effects, including dyskinesias (involuntary movements)
  • Regular exercise, perhaps with physical therapy, continues to be important for good mobility and balance
  • Occupational therapy may provide strategies for maintaining independence
Advanced Parkinson’s

  • Great difficulty walking; in wheelchair or bed most of the day
  • Not able to live alone
  • Assistance needed with all daily activities
  • Cognitive problems may be prominent, including hallucinations and delusions
  • Balancing the benefits of medications with their side effects becomes more challenging
  • At all stages of Parkinson's, effective therapies are available to ease symptoms and make it possible for people with Parkinson's to live well.

    I will accept that little tidbit of optimism and remember it to warm me up tonight as the below normal temperatures continue.

    I have mild parkinson's! Not moderate. Not advanced. Just "mild" only.................... (here I touch wood with both hands)


    Monday 12 May 2014

    L'improbable Lendemain

    Unbelievable!! After being awake all night on Saturday until Sunday at 9:21AM, at which time, I fell into fitful sleep for a mere 2 hours, I did not feel tired.

    "Don't panic," I told myself. You will be dead to the world for your afternoon nap."

    NOPE! That was not to be. I was wide awake for the rest of the day.

    "Don't panic," I told myself, you will fall asleep early this evening, probably by 7PM, just take 3.75mg of sleeping pills."

    WRONG AGAIN. So at 10PM, I turned to more drugs, 15mg of Zopiclone, to be exact. I lost consciousness for the next 7 hours. I awoke semi-refressed. I got up with some energy so I did last night's dishes from our dinner party. Still I had some pep so I spent an hour on a real estate file. I then lost interest in doing legal work, which usually makes me tired because, well, it is just not very interesting. Closing the file, I made up my mind. I was starting to lose gas. The rest of the morning would be mine. This blog will come first and when I am finished, I will exercise for an hour on the stationary bike followed by a hot bath and a good book.

    Drugs----the friends of PWP. There is a debate about when a PWP should begin a drug regime. I am in favour of starting right away so as to keep my life more normal as I grow old and feeble. The other side proposes that if you wait to take drugs, the effects will last longer into your twilight years. I don't care about my twilight years. Bring on the drugs. I need sleep and I certainly do not need my tremor at this time of my life.

    Alas. I am tired and the stationary bike may not get a workout. Fatigue is enveloping me.

    I have no more to say at the moment so I will quit today with "Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow." Gotta love old Will S."

    Sunday 11 May 2014

    I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. (author unknown)

    I could have slept all night
    I could have slept all night
    And still have slept some more
    But it didn't take
    I remained awake
    And blithely walked the floor

    I stayed awake all night last night, a feat I have not accomplished since my 20's. During that decade, sleepless nights were the result of hedonism as I partied my way into morning unconsciousness. Last night's touch of hell was brought on by a variation of mad cow disease - aging, or possibly PD. You see, I went to the lake and neglected to take my sleeping pills.

    "Doesn't matter," I told myself, "You will drift off in a couple of hours. Everybody does."

    No such luck. I lay in bed listening to "Coast to Coast", or whatever it is called now. That in itself should have knocked me out, but after lying awake for 5 hours, I finally gave up and put on an Ethan Hawke movie about vampires. I have to say, it was not too bad. Not an Oscar quality flick, not even close, but exciting enough to get me jazzed up. Ergo, I was deprived of any sleep.

    Sometimes we are our own worst enemies!

    What could have caused this fiasco. If I take one of those magic blue pills with the odd name of "Zopiclone", I have no problems sleeping for a good 5 - 6 hours. I googled "sleep deprivation" and found this little gem of information

    People who suffer from Parkinson’s disease are usually left to deal with a range of symptoms that can make day-to-day tasks difficult. Among these, sleep — one of our most basic needs — can be disrupted and hard to achieve. Often, Parkinson’s patients have sleep problems that are caused by the disease itself, or are brought on by medicines used to treat or help the patient.

    .... Following are some tips for Parkinson’s patients to promote more restful sleep.

    1. Avoid stimulants such as caffeine within six hours of bed time.
    2. Do not take long naps during the day, and participate in activities that keep you physically busy.
    3. Avoid using your bedroom for activities other than sleeping, such as reading, watching television, or working.
    4. Remedies such as a warm glass of milk, a massage, and an expression of affection might also help a Parkinson’s patient to sleep better. Also, a
    5. hot shower or bath can be helpful in helping a patient to relax.

    How do these apply to me?

    1. I hate coffee and will not drink a coke after 2pm. Coke has been put on this planet to keep morpheus at bay.
    2. I usually nap for 15 minutes each day. It is a necessary sin.
    3. Are you kidding me! Doesn't everybody watch TV in bed?
    4. A massage might be nice, but who is going to give it to me? An expression of affection? That is unlikely to relax me. A warm glass of milk? Right. That would just fill my bladder and ensure that at some point I would be required to trek to the water closet.
    5. A warm bath? Sounds good but it is a losing strategy for me. I bathe first thing in the morning to wake up!

    No the best thing for me is Zopiclone which, like the PD drugs, are my solace. The fact is, I like sleeping. It is a little touch of death without any commitment.

    And now, at 9:21AM the next day, I am off to bed, knowing somewhere in the world it is bedtime.

    Wednesday 7 May 2014

    The Long and Whining Road

    I saw one of the neuros yesterday. He is a good man. He asked me about any new symptoms and I whined on about word recall, my lack thereof. He said is was natural at our age (mid-late 60's) and added that there is a dementia component in some PWP so I was to keep watch on that. I don't worry about dementia because even though the spoken words are lost in the miasma of PD, the written word comes quickly and easily.

    I am able to divest myself of negative thoughts about dementia. Why I am able, I do not know. After all, I watched my father slip into the quietness of Alzheimer's and if I can have my druthers, I will not enter that world. I can whine with the best of them and consequently, I am used to getting my own way. Maybe whining releases stress and bad thoughts.

    I was reading on one of the PD forums that somebody had just been diagnosed and was in deep depression and considering suicide. Other victims were floored when they heard their diagnoses. My initial reaction to the first neurologist was "OK, now what?" Perhaps my laid back attitude to his diagnosis was the result of an overwhelming lack of knowledge on my part.

    "Early stages of Parkinson's" he said said to me, with a serious demeanor and we talked on about shaking and handwriting.

    When my time was up, I arose to leave. With a smile on my face I asked, "What was that you called it? My wife will be asking."

    And that's when he handed me a page torn out of a magazine, which I glanced at, but thought nothing of its contents. I was totally oblivious until I googled "Parkinson's" and then I got somewhat nervous, but one thought prevailed, if things get bad, you can always overdose on your sleeping pills.

    Fortunately, that thought has left me. It will never return. I am feeling pretty good.

    Yesterday, at neuro number two's office, I inched forward in my chair, sensing that the session was over.

    "Be active both physically and mentally," he said. "Walk. Do the crosswords. Things like that and I will see you in ......well really, whenever you want to come in," he patted me on the back as I exited the room.

    I left with a smile because to me the lack of a distinct appointment just confirmed to me that I am all right, 4 years into my journey. Suicide? No chance. Not for me anyway and to the fellow who is considering offing himself, I hope he gets help and reconsiders. There is life with PD. Think positively and get active. Walk. Do a crossword. Try whining; I think maybe it helps and if it doesn't, well, who cares.

    A brave man once requested me
    To answer questions that are key
    Is it to be or not to be
    And I replied 'oh why ask me?'

    'Cause suicide is painless
    It brings on many changes
    And I can take or leave it if I please.
    ...and you can do the same thing if you please.