Busload of Faith

I was at the beach on the weekend and decided, at 6 AM, to go for a long walk, using my poles of course. Everything was copasetic for the first mile but things started to go downhill. That feeling we sometimes encounter, you know, the one that pulls you forward, was making inroads into my Norman Rockwell morning. I self diagnosed --Early Stage FESTINATION and I still had a mile left.

I sat down on a bench beside a creek but was mobbed by a gang of mosquitoes eager to get at my veins. They were ferocious little blood suckers. I, unapologetically snuffed out the lives of a few dozen but they outnumbered me and so I threw in the towel and started for home. I was nervous but confident; sort of, I had faith in my ability to overcome festination if it were to start getting serious. I continued. My faith was waning. I wanted to call my wife but I had forgotten my cell phone. I rested, fighting off mosquitoes, some of which were large enough to have sex with eagles. My faith restored, coupled by a few prayers to Gaia (you have to cover all all the bases), I made it home, falling face first into the sofa.

I had beaten festination. My weapon was positive thinking and faith in my abilities.

In this disease, you need a busload of faith to get by.

And the "hits" just keep on coming

Last week's totals

1. United States 319
2. Canada 56
3. United Kingdom 16
4. Portugal 12
5. India 9
6. France 7
7. Germany 2
8. Russia 2
9. Brazil 1
10. China 1

Total 52,665. Thank you USA.

Will the future be a sight for sore eyes

OK. A short primer on PD. Most of you know the following by heart but it bears repeating>

PD is a neurological disorder caused by the death of dopamine producing neurons in the substantia nigra and can therefore deplete the brain's production of dopamine in a part of the brain called the putamen, a round structure connected to the substantia nigra and which is involved with motor memory. Lack of dopamine can also cause problems in the visual cortex and to a lesser extent, cells in the retina. PWP may complain about conditions such as blurred vision, trouble reading, double vision and dry eyes.

It's the dry eyes syndrome that sometimes causes me problems. They get so dry, I feel there is something in them, but when I try to remove it, there is nothing there.

Dry eyes, of course.

I went to my optometrist a couple of days ago and she described my eyeballs as having the appearance of dried chapped hands with little cracks running through them.

We discussed the issue and landed upon blinking, or the lack thereof. Apparently the normals (People without PD) blink 16 - 18 times per minute while most PWP blink once or twice during the same time frame. Blinking coats the eyes with moisture; so, you can see that we blinking challenged folk are going to have dry eyes and when they get dry enough, a phantom intruder appears, a feeling of something in the eye. If you get that feeling, and you can't recall a foreign object making its way into the eye, just moisturize the eyeball with artificial tears.

I use 2 types of artificial tears, a liquid form, such as Visine and a gel form such as Tear Gel. I now use the liquid 4 - 5 times per day and just before I close my eyes to sleep, I put tear gel into them. The gel coats the eyeball and keeps it dry through the night.

It seems to be working but I hope I can keep up this regimen. I have a history of breaking the treatment when the thing being treated is seemingly healed. I have to drill it into my head that even if I do succeed in ridding my eyeballs of those little cracks, I have to understand and believe that as a PWP, dry eyes is with me for life and so is the treatment; for life or until I am cured of the cursed PD.

Not to worry for I, Like Alfred, Lord Tennyson,have dipped into the future, far as human eye could see, Saw the vision of the world, and all the wonder that would be” Yes indeed, I have looked into the future, cracked eyeballs and all, and have seen the future looking back at me. I hear whispers in a far off room telling me it is only a matter of time.

Keep the faith my friends. It is only a matter of time

PS - To J of Grey Cottage - try the gel at bedtime. Can't hurt.

Will the future be a sight for sore eyes

OK. A short primer on PD. Most of you know the following by heart but it bears repeating>

PD is a neurological disorder caused by the death of dopamine producing neurons in the substantia nigra and can therefore deplete the brain's production of dopamine in a part of the brain called the putamen, a round structure connected to the substantia nigra and which is involved with motor memory. Lack of dopamine can also cause problems in the visual cortex and to a lesser extent, cells in the retina. PWP may complain about conditions such as blurred vision, trouble reading, double vision and dry eyes.

It's the dry eyes that sometimes causes me problems. They get so dry, I feel there is something in them, but when I try to remove it, there is nothing there.

Dry eyes, of course.

I went to my optometrist a couple of days ago and she described my eyeballs as having the appearance of dried chapped hands with little cracks running through them.

We discussed the issue and landed upon blinking, or the lack thereof. Apparently the normals (People without PD) blink 16 - 18 times per minute while most PWP blink once or twice during the same time frame. Blinking coats the eyes with moisture; so, you can see that we blinking challenged folk are going to have dry eyes and when they get dry enough, a phantom intruder appears, a feeling of something in the eye. If you get that feeling, and you can't recall a foreign object making its way into the eye, just moisturize the eyeball with artificial tears.

I use 2 types of artificial tears, a liquid form, such as Visine and a gel form such as Tear Gel. I now use the liquid 4 - 5 times per day and just before I close my eyes to sleep, I put tear gel into them. The gel coats the eyeball and keeps it dry through the night.

It seems to be working but I hope I can keep up this regimen. I have a history of breaking the treatment when the thing being treated is healed. If I do succeed in healing the problem, I have to realize that as a PWP, dry eyes is with me for life and so is the treatment or until I am cured of PD.

i, Like Alfred, Lord Tennyson,have dipped into the future, far as human eye could see, Saw the vision of the world, and all the wonder that would be” Yes indeed, I have looked into the future, cracked eyeballs and all, and have seen the future looking back at me. It is smiling and telling me it is only a matter of time.

Keep the faith my friends.

PS - To J of Grey Cottage - try the gel at bedtime. Can't hurt.

The Circle Game

Now I am officially "old" having survived the past 613,200 hours. What to do? What to do when a person reaches old age and the cherry on top is parkinson's? I don't know about you, but I plan to live a normal life. "Normal" if you ignore the tremors, the slow and somewhat awkward gait, the loss of smell, a voice nobody can hear - you know what I mean. Just try to be optimistic.

PD's a waste land, dark and deep,
but I promised myself to be upbeat
and I've miles to go before I sleep.
And hours to live before defeat

Even with PD riding on my back, I plan to live awhile longer before dragging my feet to slow the circle down

Now, where did I put my medication. I just don't remember. Oh well, it will turn up sooner or later.

A Thomas Becket Moment

After a successful research into back pain (see J of Grey Cottage's comment on Stand and Deliver)I decided to check out why my vision is going wonky. Dry, burning eyes, double vision on the computer, better in the morning than at night, sensitive to light. I have been told by some people in the medical profession that PD does not affect the eyes. What nonsense! It only took me one search to find the following at Parkinson's Disease Foundation

Vision Changes.

Some people with Parkinson’s disease (PD) notice that as the disease progresses their vision loses sharpness or becomes blurred, and they have trouble with dry eyes. Difficulties related to the eyes and vision often progress alongside other PD symptoms.Symptoms

Visual motor symptoms

Some vision difficulties are related to changes in the movement of the eyeball. These are motor symptoms, similar to other motor symptoms caused by loss of dopamine neurons.

• Blurred or double vision, and eye strain, because the eyes may have trouble moving together to focus on things traveling toward or away from a person
• Trouble reading, because the eye movements needed to follow the lines of a page are slowed and have trouble starting (similar to gait freezing in the legs)
• A person with PD may need to blink in order to change eye position; levodopa can help
• Trouble opening the eyes voluntarily, known as apraxia (treated with “lid crutches” or lid tape)
• Eyelid spasms, called blepharospasm, and excessive blinking

Discomfort

• Dry eyes; people with PD may blink only 1-2 times per minute (normal is 16-18 times), leading to itching and burning Skin irritation on the eyelid; known as seborrheic blepharitis, this can worsen dry-eye symptoms

There is a great deal of information on the subject on their webpage and it is worth reading. Needless to say, our Bete Noire is the culprit. It seems to be attacking everything and doing it with success.

To arms, scientists, create a nuke that will settle the issue for our side.

WILL NO ONE RID US OF THIS TROUBLESOME DISEASE!?

(And unlike Henry II, I mean what I am asking for and I say that on behalf of all PWP.)

Stand and deliver

I have had writer's block for several days. Frustrating! Somebody once said not to wait for inspiration, but begin writing and inspiration will find you. I will give it a shot.

As I sit here before a blank screen, my back is hurting, bad, lower back pain. A good friend of mine, a fellow PD victim, has told me he too suffers from back pain. Coincidence? Probably but you never know.

There is my inspiration! Is there a connection between PD and back pain? Seems unlikely but it gives something to research and thereby continue with my inspired topic.

One hour later.

Well, well, well. There is a relationship between pain and PD. Apparently our backs, buttocks and legs are all possible targets for our dark passenger.

Let's stick to back pain which can be caused by an abnormal walking gait that many of us have and which is caused by, surprise, surprise, parkinson's. Pain arises from the loss of spatial awareness, and loss of control. Just another one of the little joys of PD.

I have trouble admitting it, but I fear my PD is advancing and I may be in stage 2. When I stand up, I can feel a loss of balance. It is slight, but I notice it and make compensations to permit my denial of any advancement. The sad fact is, I am getting clumsy and there is not much I can do to overcome this symptom. This morning, for example, I went for a 2K walk using my poles and when I reached home base, my back was awash with pain. Now I know the reason. PD is in control.....for now. I feel myself retreating and my back is against the wall (pun intended) but, fear not, I will find a way to hold it at bay until somebody devises a method of stalling its advance permanently.

Researchers and biotech executives foresee the day when the effects of many catastrophic diseases can be reversed. The damaged brains of Alzheimer's disease patients may be restored. Severed spinal cords may be rejoined. Damaged organs may be rebuilt. Stem cells provide hope that this dream will become a reality. GEORGE WOLFF, The Biotech Investor's Bible

In the words of Martin Luther King Jr, "We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

Stay tuned.

PD - a weapon of no choice

I heard of a man who exhibited the following symptoms:

First symptom was an inner tremor in his right arm.

The tremor moved into his right leg and made inroads into his left leg.

Frequently he shuffled when he walked.

Sometimes one foot would drag a little

the tremor moved into both sides of the body and was clearly apparent in both hands.

Being a proud man, he would hold his hand(s) behind his back when in public, to avoid appearing weak and ineffectual

In times of great stress, his tremors were so bad, they interfered with his life

As the stress increased, his posture became more and more stooped, like an old man

Greater stressers exacerbated his problems, physically and mentally

He seemed to have moments of dementia and gossip had him falling down and chewing the carpet when in fits of rage, resulting in the nickname "Carpeteater

His movements were made more slowly

Even his thinking became foggy and he made mistakes

Finally, he put a bullet through his head.

There is a debate as to whether or not he had parkinson's. So, what do you think?

Did Hitler have parkinson's, or some other neurological disorder? I vote for PD and I think it had an effect on the outcome of WWII. From the web, the following:

Did Parkinson's disease lose Hitler the war? Study claims the condition made the Fuhrer reckless and violent

,

By the end of his life, Hitler had a pronounced tremor in his hands
This has led some scientists to question whether he had Parkinson's
Latest study says horrific murders were influenced by the disease
The condition may have led him to attack Russia prematurely in 1941

READ MORE of the article from whichh this quote was taken.

Guten Nacht.

Of drugs and batchorettes

Do you suffer from sleepless night times? Are you, like I, up at 2:30AM or so and you don't want to be awake? Do you fall back asleep, watch TV? I have tried all the tricks, usually without success. Well take heed, what follows might help.

Solution #1 - The Chemical Remedy

I take a sleeping pill at around 10:30 PM, sleep by 11PM, awaken 4 hours later.

When I first awaken, I try to lie still and go back to sleep, but I start thinking too much, about my children, their children, the best linoleum, the number of fairies that can dance on the head of a pin and finally, the piece de resistance, I am wide awake thinking about thinking.

What do I do about it?

Drugs can help. I highly recommend a sleeping pill. I use zopiclone (Z). This does not put me to sleep. I have no trouble falling asleep. With Z, I fall asleep quickly and deeply. Without Z, I would still fall asleep but I would only be half asleep. Somewhere in my brain I would be able to hear everything around me and wouldn't get any rest. Z solves that problem. It puts me under into a deep sleep that can only be disturbed by a riveter working beside my bed. It's a good drug. The only thing wrong with the use of Z is there is an inverse relationship between its efficacy and the frequency of its use . The more it is used leads to a decrease in efficacy and a need for more pills or a higher dosage. Z is not addictive, but a reliance on it is a distinct possibility. I can attest to that. Still, I prefer a drug-induced coma come daybreak rather than the zombie I resemble without rest.

Solution #2 - The Ennui Factor

Late, late television can also help. If you wake up at 3AM, check for some show that has the potential of summoning your slumber. Shows, full of suspense, like the one where the chef berates his students and then rates their dishes to find a winner; or, television guaranteed to bring you to the edge of your seat in anticipation such as The Bachelor and for equality and PC, The Bachelorette. You know of what I speak, shows that have a good plot, rising action and a surprising denouement.(such sarcasm!) Try this technique and, if one of those shows fails to put you under until the alarm sounds, I feel sorry for you. You might as well get up and make breakfast.

I am accustomed to my circumstances now. Occasionally I nap but in truth, besides sustenance and TV, all I really need is a good night's sleep, world peace, and a new computer.

I will settle for the computer, thank you.

Note - I have accidentally erased the past few comments. Please keep commenting. I enjoy reading them

Addendum

Did Ali have parkinson's or did he have parkinson's-like symptoms?

Afterall, I heard that his body absorbed in the neighborhood of 29,000 blows. Might not have been parkinson's.

What difference does it make?

Sadly, The King has left the planet

Muhammad Ali's defunct!
Who used to clock the very best
With onetwothreefourfive uppercuts
Just like that
Jesus, he was an interesting man
And what we all want to know is
How do you like your bright-eyed boy
Mister Death?

Ali was probably the greatest heavy weight champion of all time and he died yesterday "After a long battle with Parkinson' Disease". Think of that phrase. Is it not unlike "He died after a long battle with ebola"? The phrase itself hints, strongly, in my opinion, that the disease mentioned won the long battle and killed the victim.

Fear not members of the shaking palsy tribe. At times PD might make you wish you were dead, but the fact is, PD is not a killer. PD will not kill you. Ali probably died from some other disease that might have been complicated by PD

Ali lived with PD for a long time. He was diagnosed in 1984 and doctors will no doubt attribute his dark passenger to the hits he took to his head during his boxing careers.

The last time I saw Ali (on TV), he was shadow of himself, confined to a wheel chair. It was sad to see the formerly trash talking, opponent taunting champion looking weak and sick.

Perhaps we are seeing ourselves in the future? I choose not to do so. I choose to fight until I lose and since Ali had a couple of decades in which he could still be independent (same with MJF) that will be my goal.

In any event, I am certain a cure will be discovered before I die.

Round One - Let's rumble!

my apologies to e.e. cummings(title)

You do not do any more black shoe

What exactly is depression? According to the Mayo Clinic Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest.

Never having suffered from depression, I knew little about it. Well, I knew it couldn't be good. What causes it? Does the feeling (or lack thereof) just suddenly appear? Are there levels of depression? Is there a connection between PD and depression? Time for google.

Whenever I need reliable information, I go to Parkinsons UK. This is the British parkinson's site. It is nicely presented and easy to read. Their forum is one of the better forums I have visited. Parkinson's UK has many articles about PD and depression. Here is part of one I found interesting:

21 May 2015

A new study published in the journal Neurology suggests having depression increases the risk of Parkinson's. But how new is this finding?

What they found

The researchers looked at over 140,000 people with depression over a 20 year period.
They compared them to a group of people without depression, and found that their risk of developing Parkinson's was 3 times higher than the people without depression.

What we think

Professor David Burn, Parkinson's UK clinical director, says of the findings:

"We already know that depression is a common feature of Parkinson's.

"This study adds to the growing evidence that depression is one of the very early symptoms that can occur before a tremor or movement problems.

"With depression so common in the population it's important to know that although the risk of developing Parkinson's is greater if you have depression, it is still very low."

- See more:here

Interesting. Wouldn't you agree?

But I still didn't understand depression until I found this short movie entitledThe Science of Depression. You should also check out this TED video What is depression

After all my research, I think the American humanist, Rollo May, described the condition best when he said depression is the inability to plan a future.

Now I understand.