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Friday 23 February 2018

Time, time, time....See What's become of me

To PWP. As the title suggests, lately I have been thinking about time. What is time? Is it merely a human construct to keep track of the of events in our lives. My thoughts are kept amused by the philosophy of time - For example, the world has standardized a method of measuring the changing of events through an ingenious process involving the sun and moon and other celestial events; but, it is likely that everybody's daily events are different; ergo, when those events belong to an individual, that individual owns all of his time.

The medical profession likes order and with order comes time, but time is not an ordered system and logically time and the two cannot be connected. Time is chaotic. Nevertheless, physicians and medical researchers continue to use some version of an ordered sequence to describe the effect time has on the progression of PD. The most common sequence is a chart describing the 5 stages of Parkinson's. What rubbish! Both time and PD are wrapped in chaos and each PWP owns his or her own time.

We all know we will deteriorate but we also know PD is a designer condition in which advancement of the "disease" cannot be predicted in an accurate manner. It is different for each person. I am in the 8th year of my journey and I know I am not what I used to be, but I refuse to put myself into one of the five stages. I am where I am. I have survived in the past so that part is no longer of any use as a predictor, and I refuse to try and predict my problems into the future. That's not quite true, I predict only positive happenings. In the meantime, all I know with any certainty is that the here and why is now.

PWP will know whereof I speak. We each carry a unique version of the disease; consequently, the medical world which tries to predict the future using standard measures of disability is misguided. They do their best but they have no cure and no proven method of slowing the progression of PD. We PWP are all different, so don't try to pigeon-hole us into 5 stages in an attempt to create certainty out of an entirely chaotic system. We own our own version of the future. It is ours to predict. Make your prediction positive and trust that with time, these professionals will work with chaos and give us a cure. They will help us along our journey as best they can but in the meantime, repeat after me, "My future is mine. I know that PD will continue to run its destruction, but I will not let it beat me."

I intend to die with dignity!

That is today's rant.

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